We’ll PAUSE While You Think of a Better One
05/22/2013 § 4 Comments
I hate it when people point at me and say, “Look at that giant VASE!” I am, of course, a highly sophisticated vahse. It rhymes with “OZ.” “What’s the difference,” you ask? A vase is something you put flowers in, while a vahse is admired for its own beauty. Putting flowers in a vahse is like putting wine in a fine crystal goblet. No, wait! That’s not a good analogy!
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It Could Go Viral
05/21/2013 § 4 Comments
It’s spring, so I don’t see how it could be Halloween! It just doesn’t make sense. Why would they want to put ghosts in their yard this time of year. All I know is that I nearly froze last night. They could have at least put a blanket over us like they do on the beds. I hope that “Garden Linens” isn’t a hot new trend. Humans have come up with stupider ideas.
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And There’s No Ice Maker
05/20/2013 § 8 Comments
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE RESIDENTS OF THIS TOWN, but some of the visitors are intellectually challenged. The sign is for the bed and breakfast next to me, but you wouldn’t believe how many people ask the owners how much it costs to stay in “that cute little cottage outside.” Their tactful reply usually ends the discussion: “It’s $1,000 per night, but you have to supply your own linens.”
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He WOOD Say That, No Doubt!
05/17/2013 § 6 Comments
SO, I’m in a pile of winter coats in the laundry room ready to be washed and put away for the season when my owner hears about a frost warning at bedtime last night. After covering all of the other plants, he could only think of me to protect this vine. If the dress coat hears about this, I’ll never live it down. He’ll tell everyone that I’m a “tree hugger.” I could just die.
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The Critter Wanted LILACS!
05/16/2013 § 15 Comments
I was in a bad mood this spring and vowed I would NOT bloom this year. The gentle rains couldn’t make me, and the warm days couldn’t make me. Then an itsy bitsy spider sat down beside me and scared the bloom right OUT of me!
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