05/22/2013 § 4 Comments
I hate it when people point at me and say, “Look at that giant VASE!” I am, of course, a highly sophisticated vahse. It rhymes with “OZ.” “What’s the difference,” you ask? A vase is something you put flowers in, while a vahse is admired for its own beauty. Putting flowers in a vahse is like putting wine in a fine crystal goblet. No, wait! That’s not a good analogy!
05/20/2013 § 8 Comments
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE RESIDENTS OF THIS TOWN, but some of the visitors are intellectually challenged. The sign is for the bed and breakfast next to me, but you wouldn’t believe how many people ask the owners how much it costs to stay in “that cute little cottage outside.” Their tactful reply usually ends the discussion: “It’s $1,000 per night, but you have to supply your own linens.”
05/17/2013 § 6 Comments
SO, I’m in a pile of winter coats in the laundry room ready to be washed and put away for the season when my owner hears about a frost warning at bedtime last night. After covering all of the other plants, he could only think of me to protect this vine. If the dress coat hears about this, I’ll never live it down. He’ll tell everyone that I’m a “tree hugger.” I could just die.
05/16/2013 § 15 Comments