So, the rest of you are in here for petty crimes. I’m in here for standing up for my beliefs.
SUSAN! Take a clue from the rest of us and DON’T LOOK DOWN! You’ll just have another PANIC ATTACK!
When I was at the lumberyard, I didn’t ask to be the top of a footboard. People are constantly banging their shins against me and grumbling. I wanted to be the top of a mantle.
I thought that dressing up as a red heart would be all the Valentine’s Day gift you would need, Dear, but since you’re giving me the cold shoulder, I’ll add it to the two I’ve already got.