A Few Cutting-Edge Remarks

06/27/2014 § 9 Comments

Cherry Pie Slices

This restaurant did a terrible job of cutting us.  Haven’t they heard of “presentation”?  I’d like to spill my guts to the newspaper’s food editor, but I’d need reconstructive surgery firstOtherwise, my effort would be fruitless.

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Nearly Choking on the “Sandwich”

05/15/2013 § 11 Comments


FINALLY, we’re in a venue where people can’t make the usual wisecrack when they see us.  Since we’re here for a church dinner, people have to catch themselves and say, “NICE . . . sandwich . . . BUNS!

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M. Antoinette: “Let Them Drink Decaf!”

05/08/2013 § 17 Comments


THOSE TWO AREN’T REAL COFFEE!  They have no body.  When people come up to the cart, one of us needs to speak up first and say, “Regular or decapitated?”

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A Conclusion That’s Easy to Swallow

05/03/2012 § 10 Comments

A tray of cake slices on individual styrofoam plates.

They have detached us from the mothership and have given each of us our own saucer on these launchpads.  I’ll bet we are about to go into the darkness of deep space.

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Displaying Her Ignorance

03/05/2012 § 17 Comments

An elaborate fruit display with linen "bumpers" around the edges is seen at a wedding reception .

I hate to break it to you, Constance, but we haven’t just been
“tucked In the way your mother used to do.”  We are part of a
“culinary display,” ripe for the picking.  The good news?  You
won’t have to put up with my puns much longer, and you won’t
be a burden to your children.

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