To Be or Not To Be

05/26/2015 § 8 Comments


Soon diners will be dropping us indiscriminately onto hot baked potatoes.  You can opt out now, but your wages will be garnished.

That’s a CRAZY Idea

05/06/2015 § 8 Comments


[We have to whisper.  You act like you’re going berserk, and I’ll sneak around them.  If I don’t come back for you, throw yourself at their mercy.]

A Few Cutting-Edge Remarks

06/27/2014 § 9 Comments

Cherry Pie Slices

This restaurant did a terrible job of cutting us.  Haven’t they heard of “presentation”?  I’d like to spill my guts to the newspaper’s food editor, but I’d need reconstructive surgery firstOtherwise, my effort would be fruitless.

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Nearly Choking on the “Sandwich”

05/15/2013 § 11 Comments


FINALLY, we’re in a venue where people can’t make the usual wisecrack when they see us.  Since we’re here for a church dinner, people have to catch themselves and say, “NICE . . . sandwich . . . BUNS!

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M. Antoinette: “Let Them Drink Decaf!”

05/08/2013 § 17 Comments


THOSE TWO AREN’T REAL COFFEE!  They have no body.  When people come up to the cart, one of us needs to speak up first and say, “Regular or decapitated?”

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